Finding peace in truth

I have spent many years moving from place to place hoping to find somewhere I could call home. We never have fit in wherever we have roamed. It seemed it was always time to move on after a few years. Circumstances were not favorable time and again. We have been living in the same place now for over three years and when we first arrived, I had a feeling that I never had before. Something felt right despite the less than desirable location, it felt right. I knew there would be growth here and I could sense it was what we had been led too. Nothing seemed a mistake anymore but more part of the plan that needed to happen to begin a revealing of truth that I had longed to find for so very long.

That story will be for another time but it is signifigant, After learning the name of my birth mother, I was able to find more information online. She had passed away more than a decade ago and I found a memorial tribute on her high school page. As I read the information, I learned she had died from heart failure as we were told years later. I was only told years later and that she was an alcoholic. I spent years trying to stay away from that demon and it almost won in my teenage years. As the sadness filled my heart, I read on to learn she had been married later on and she had another daughter. I read and reread the passage over and over. I found more and more online and saw my birth sister had posted information on various genealogy sites and had made a memorial page of her own. She posted pictures of my mother's grave and were she was buried. It was all happening so fast. 

I typed and typed and bookmarked and wrote information down. I eventually put all of the pieces together and learned my birth mother's husband had passed away as well. My sister was out there somewhere. But, did she know I existed? That was my burning question. I did not want to disrupt or cause any stress to anyone's life. That was my resolve from the beginning. I would not contact anyone unless I knew they wanted to find me.

I spent the evening pouring over my family tree. Learning the names, looking up obituaries and understanding for the first time my true history and heritage. I was fascinated how the line went all the way back to Ireland. I always had a feeling I was Irish. It was now a fact and I could claim it. It was a sense of peace and understanding I needed.

I found rest that evening thinking of my mother's name and seeing her face. Wondering where my sister might be and where this journey would go. I knew there was more, but I was so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster. I laid my head down and knew tomorrow was a new day.