I have spent weeks in therapy. I have hoped it would somehow make this all seem bearable. You know the truth stuff. I guess we all wander around with the same desires of hoping there will come a time when it all gets easier. We hope for an endless bliss and place where it all just fits. Why else would there be such a market for drugs and alcohol? We are here yet long to escape. You hear about the tv binging and sometimes we use food instead. Sometimes it is the rush of money and owning things. The more stuff the less it will all hurt. The better we look, the more we don't have to take down the mask. What mask you ask? You know the one that was handed to you the day you could start to think and speak for yourself. We learn early on that certain ideas and beliefs are not acceptable in this society. How does it go? "A grateful heart is a happy heart." If you are not grateful for the shit you have been handed than you are selfish and undeserving. You must take responsibility for all of the horrible darkness you have endured and say, I will be fine anyway. Be strong and don't ever let them see you sweat. After all, it is all for a reason. Really? I have yet for someone to give me a reason for all the shitty things people do to each other. It is more like we can't admit that life hurts daily and is not pleasant. It has it's moments and sometimes we get lucky and escape or check out. We have to go to therapy to find a way to carry the shit handed to us. It gets heavy and people don't like to hear it is fucking heavy. It also turns into mine was or is heavier than yours and I made it so suck it up buttercup. Really that is the very lie and poison that allows the darkness to grow and keep growing. Besides if we are not happy and positive people then we aren't productive and that in turn doesn't make money for the powers that be. They need us to be productive because they found a way to get us all to do the shit they never want to do.
It is all for your benefit they say. Really whose benefit is it? Give us your baby, you won't be able to take care of it. We will just sell it to a better fit. No one will be harmed...it is all for the good. You are now cursed anyway in your sin so let us absolve it for you. Oh, you're parents, they loved you so much they gave you to someone else. That is love and we helped. Oh, and by the way the people who bought you, they are going to fuck you up even worse. Good deal? Yes, looks great! Carry on.
Seriously, I watched a young girl this week get dragged across the classroom by one of the "good" guys. You know the ones we all admire and teach our kids to be like when they grow up. Thing is it seems to me it is the "good" guys who have control and when they feel they are losing that, even with a young orphan who lost lost her mom, they will make sure you know your place. Thing is, the time has come for the cover ups to end and the brutality to stop. Many of us suffered and were not believed because there was no proof. It is always easy to say the kid was rotten and "deserved" it. But, now through the technology in our hands we are showing the world no, they didn't "deserve" it and those who have been oppressed for so long are awakening and saying no more and you too? We are connecting like never before. The power of isolation is being defeated and we are finding our trauma is not uncommon and guess what else? We are not crazy. The crazy people are the ones inflicting the pain and causing the world to collapse around itself. You can only oppress for so long until there are enough people who have been touched by it and say...no more.
It is not going to get better anytime soon because the wounds are opening and the healing has to come first. That is going to painful for many. But as we heal and learn to carry and own our pain and trauma, it will get to a place where we can efficiently bring change and light to the darkness. Stay with me. Don't give up. Let it be raw for awhile. Get support and allow yourself to feel what the world says you can't. Feel what the world says is weak but is actually strength.
Prayers for you sweet girl. I am with you.
It is all for your benefit they say. Really whose benefit is it? Give us your baby, you won't be able to take care of it. We will just sell it to a better fit. No one will be harmed...it is all for the good. You are now cursed anyway in your sin so let us absolve it for you. Oh, you're parents, they loved you so much they gave you to someone else. That is love and we helped. Oh, and by the way the people who bought you, they are going to fuck you up even worse. Good deal? Yes, looks great! Carry on.
Seriously, I watched a young girl this week get dragged across the classroom by one of the "good" guys. You know the ones we all admire and teach our kids to be like when they grow up. Thing is it seems to me it is the "good" guys who have control and when they feel they are losing that, even with a young orphan who lost lost her mom, they will make sure you know your place. Thing is, the time has come for the cover ups to end and the brutality to stop. Many of us suffered and were not believed because there was no proof. It is always easy to say the kid was rotten and "deserved" it. But, now through the technology in our hands we are showing the world no, they didn't "deserve" it and those who have been oppressed for so long are awakening and saying no more and you too? We are connecting like never before. The power of isolation is being defeated and we are finding our trauma is not uncommon and guess what else? We are not crazy. The crazy people are the ones inflicting the pain and causing the world to collapse around itself. You can only oppress for so long until there are enough people who have been touched by it and say...no more.
It is not going to get better anytime soon because the wounds are opening and the healing has to come first. That is going to painful for many. But as we heal and learn to carry and own our pain and trauma, it will get to a place where we can efficiently bring change and light to the darkness. Stay with me. Don't give up. Let it be raw for awhile. Get support and allow yourself to feel what the world says you can't. Feel what the world says is weak but is actually strength.
Prayers for you sweet girl. I am with you.
